Amber's Birth

I always thought I would have two children; so when Joseph was born in a midwife-led unit in Scotland, by a medically questionable ‘emergency’ caesarean, and without my full consent, I was devastated. I was treated incredibly badly during the whole ordeal – and it was an ordeal. It then took a year to come to terms with what had happened to me, and nearly another two to be able to make the decision to try again. During those three years, I contacted Kay a couple of times with questions about private midwifery practise; and when we did become pregnant again we immediately got in touch and arranged our care with her.




My experience of pregnancy and birth the second time is nothing short of unbelievable. I was really lucky to have a stress free and comfortable pregnancy, but the real difference was made by having a constant source of help, care, encouragement, understanding, and consideration. And Amber was born at home, in a birth pool, in September.

My water’s broke at four pm, but the contractions didn’t begin until about 7pm – conveniently, after Joseph was asleep in bed! They then accelerated in strength quite quickly, and we called Kay back later that evening. Before she even arrived I was on all fours unable to not push... and as soon as Kay came in, she helped me into the pool. During the next couple of hours I was monitored very discreetly, and didn’t feel at all ‘watched’ or under pressure to progress. And in retrospect, I know that the birth was assisted by Kay’s gentle suggestions, although at the time they were barely noticed!

I do, however, strongly recall the confidence she gave me to birth Amber myself, and that is something which has made a big difference to how I feel about my body, my children, and my experience of being a mother.

Amber was born into the water at 2.15am, with a little help from some gas and air. I then opted for a managed third stage, as I was shaking a lot, and in too much discomfort to be able to hold her for long… I also wanted to get into bed with my daughter as soon as possible. (Which we did….) Meanwhile Kay packed up, and my husband emptied the pool and cleaned up, and when Joseph got up in the morning everything was exactly as it had been when he went to bed, but he was pleased to see that his baby sister had ‘popped’ out of mummy’s tummy during the night!

It has taken a really long time to sink-in that we have experienced such a peaceful, wonderful birth, and had such (relatively!) easy experience the second time around… but the most important difference, for me, is that it was primarily my husband and I who were involved in Amber’s birth. And Kay’s support and professional assistance facilitated that. I can’t think of a better attribute for a midwife to have! Thank you Kay.