Aubrey

My first pregnancy went well and I never worried too much about the birth. Suddenly at 37 weeks I was told by a consultant after a routine scan that I had to be induced for suspected “fat” baby. I was overweight then but thought this was very unfair because of this not to let me go up to the end of my pregnancy since everything else was fine. I could not discuss anything and felt pressurised to accept. The induction was booked one morning. So I arrived anxious at the hospital with my husband - and my bag. After two attempts (in 7 hours) to ripen my cervix with a gel, strapped on a bed with continuous foetal monitoring and no food since the night before, I was in tears and anger. Nothing was happening, not a single contraction, my baby and my body were not ready to go into labour. The obstetrician decided then to perform a caesarean for “foetal distress”. Completely shocked, my husband and I were crying as they prepared me for the operation, and then he had to stay outside. Half an hour later, my beautiful son Lazare was born, a perfectly healthy baby weighing a perfect normal weight of 3.230 kg.

Feeling completely “robbed” of the end of my pregnancy and the birth, it took me months to recover, physically and emotionally. I loved my son to bits and breastfed him for a year but felt not complete as a woman and constantly cried over the unnecessary and unfair intervention - without even knowing what labour was like. After the birth I asked the obstetrician about the reasons of having been induced and my caesarean – I never obtained a clear answer and I was eventually told a poor scan reading led to a wrong estimate of the weight of my baby.

Then I read about VBACs on the Internet and having one became my dearest dream …



Eighteen months later, without especially “trying” I fell pregnant again. When the pregnancy test read “pregnant” I was so happy but immediately thought about the birth. I did not want the same to happen again. I wanted to know what labour was like, if I could give birth like my body was supposed to do. After all, I had never been given the opportunity last time !

Apart from my husband, I kept my pregnancy secret – I had become so afraid of everything medical - and eventually decided myself to see my GP, at around 21 weeks. She confirmed my pregnancy and I asked her if I was going to have a normal birth this time. She said “they may give you a trial of labour”. I left the surgery very disappointed and sad.

At my late “booking” appointment, the community midwife told me the same story. They could give me a “trial of labour”, but with continuous foetal monitoring on a bed and if only my labour was not taking very long, and if my cervix opened as they plan it to do every hour. As I mentioned before, I never went into labour with my first child, so I felt I was “set up to fail”.

This new pregnancy contained all my hopes of a normal birth and I could not stay like this and not try everything to achieve a VBAC.

Then I thought about employing an independent midwife. I had read beautiful stories on the Net about home births, even after a previous caesarean, but thought it was not for me (“what if…”). I spoke to my husband, and of course he knew how important this was for me, so he asked me to find somebody.

I sent an e-mail to the Kent Midwifery Practice and had a reply from Kay, so we agreed to meet for a first consultation at our house. My husband and I immediately liked her down-to-earth, no-nonsense approach. I was surprised how understanding she was about my story -and how I was feeling. I told her I wanted to achieve a VBAC -or if this was not possible, I would want to know for the rest of my life this was because of a genuine reason (for the health of my baby.)

After a few days we decided to employ her and I started my ante natal care. Everything was going well, we would meet monthly at my home and I was so happy to be able to ask as many questions as I needed to. Kay lent me several books about childbirth and a video about home births. If I had a query she would research it and find a leaflet or photocopies about facts and current research so it would help me in making an informed choice. I always felt in control of my pregnancy, it was great.

At first I wanted a hospital birth with Kay as a support – I was scared by my non-experience of labour combined to the risk of a uterine scar rupture in the case of a VBAC, as much as I wanted a vaginal birth I was in fact very scared. My husband and I asked many questions to Kay. I remember asking her many times what we would do in case of this and that … and we looked with her at the facts and statistics. We discussed emergency situations. Kay had experience of VBACS and even VBA2Cs (after 2 cesareans). She knew the warning signs and she would check my scar. So eventually with all this information I was confident it was safe for me and that I could do it and decided to have a home birth with Kay.

Two days after my due date I felt some weird pains low in my stomach in the afternoon. They felt like trapped wind behind my cervix so I did not worry too much. The pain became worse and I did not sleep at all, I kept all night walking in the house holding a hot water bottle on my belly button ! I was expecting labour to feel like period pains but it felt very different. Anyway at 6:00 am my husband called Kay who arrived a bit later, she told me I was in labour ; it was still only the beginning but she would stay now for support.

At 8:00 Kay and I agreed for me to have a vaginal examination to assess labour, everything was fine and Kay told me the baby will be born later today.

At 10:00 contractions were getting stronger. The Entonox and Pethidine Kay brought helped me a lot. My husband was looking after my eldest son and eventually played his favourite DVD again and again so he would be free to stay near me in our bedroom ! It was “hard work” but I was feeling so happy. At last I was experiencing what millions of women had done before me. I told Kay that this labour was like climbing a mountain rather than taking the cable car which my caesarean birth was like.

At 11:41 I was fully dilated, I could not believe it when Kay told me this ! I then thought “nothing can stop me now”: I was going to give birth for real ! Kay was checking the baby’s heart rate with her machine, and checking my uterine scar all the time, but I realised afterwards I never actually thought about it myself during the birth !

At 12:37, on all fours (!) I gave birth to my beautiful second son Aubrey ! I felt his head and all his body sliding out of me, this was an amazing strong sensation ! I was so happy, in tears of joy I was telling my husband and Kay “I’ve done it ! I’ve done it !” My husband cut the cord. I was able to sleep in my own bed with my husband and my new baby the following night !

Thank you Kay for believing in me and always being positive ! I am now in peace with myself, a happy wife and just the happy mum of two lovely little boys !