The Birth of Dottie

We were honeymooning around Europe when we realised that I was expecting little Dotty. I enjoyed drinking 10 pints a night and smoking 30 cigarettes a day, I had no plans for a little baby. I was quite horrified with the news. My husband and I had our own separate businesses and we worked very long hours, I wondered how we would cope with a baby. I was extremely emotional during my pregnancy especially at the beginning and the end and really had to have lots of chocolate and prawns. I decided that I would eat what I fancied, everything except Stilton, as I thought the mould might work as penicillin for the baby. I gave up smoking immediately which was really difficult, I kept it up by thinking of how it would harm my baby if I didn’t. I imagined a little baby choking in a smoky place. I drank the odd glass of wine, sometimes 3, especially if I was miserable. I would recommend chatting with your husband or partner about any worries you may have whilst you are pregnant and not worrying about crying as it’s totally normal. I was the same weight after having Dotty as I was before.I was pregnant. I think I just ate chocolate instead of drinking wine and they cancelled each other out.

I found being pregnant very scary, the local GP was not helpful at all. I returned from honeymoon earlier than anticipated as I was keen to ask a GP what I should be doing to take care of the baby. We saw a trainee GP who said that they could not do a confirmation test at the surgery, we would have to do a test ourselves. We had already done this in Italy. My husband managed to buy one with the assistance of a phrase book. We were given no helpful advice and were then told to book an appointment with the midwife. These only seemed to be in the afternoon, which was of no use as I was working. I didn’t want my clients to know, incase they swapped my services for someone more reliable. We saw the midwife a few days later and she informed me I would have to have our baby at Maidstone, I wasn’t given the choice of Pembury or at home. Both appointments seemed really negative, luckily we came across a leaflet for Kent Medical Imaging, we went there to have a 6 week scan.



KMI were so positive and friendly, after this I was really happy to be pregnant, it was so magical to see our baby’s picture. KMI recommended Kent Midwifery Practice and we met Virginia a few days later.

We had appointments with Virginia every few weeks to check our progress and gradually we all got to know a bit about one another. I was convinced that having a baby and looking after it would be a breeze. We followed Virginia’s sound advice and we thought 9 months would be a long time away. We went for a second scan at KMI and Dotty was fast asleep. KMI were marvellous and told us to go for a walk around their car park or go for some breakfast and pop back in an hour. We tried skipping around the car park first, a lovely memory that my husband and I hold very dearly, we were so excited by it all, we laughed at how others would perceive us and we didn’t care. Dotty was still asleep after our skip, so we went for breakfast. KMI allowed us straight back in with no wait and were so relaxed and helpful. The scan went well and we were given some DVDs to cherish.

I worked very long hours until 2pm some nights, trying to have all our work chores and home chores out the way before Dotty arrived. Suddenly it was 2 weeks before the birth, the time had flown. We put the birthpool in the dining room and continued our lives as normal. Every morning we’d smile and wonder if that day would be Dotty’s birthday.

It was a Thursday afternoon when I felt the first contractions. My waters had broken at 5am, but there wasn’t loads of water just a medium amount that continued to slowly leak. I called Virginia to let her know and promised to keep her updated. At 10pm I was in the birthpool with very strong contractions, I had been worried about getting my kit off and being in all my glory, this all went out the window. I was very pleased to see Virginia and accepted the assistance of gas and air. I was dilating very slowly so Virginia recommended I rested and she would visit in the morning. I had gas and air all night, it was marvellous, just like the days of having 10 pints. The contractions were painful, but with the skilled use of gas and air which I soon learned, they were painless. It was all going to plan until Friday lunchtime, after 24 hoursish, We received an email regarding our business which we knew would cost us lots of money and hassle. The contractions slowed down to 1 every half an hour and continued all through to Saturday lunch.

Saturday lunch time, Virginia advised we went for a long brisk walk, this is another fond memory. My husband Rupert and I walked across the fields with the gas and air that he’d strapped to his back like Ghostbusters, to walk to the pub 2 miles away. Some of the walk was by road and we got some funny looks. I was exhausted by the time we made it to the pub and had felt lots of painful contractions, so many that I couldn’t drink my wine. We agreed to get a taxi back home and call Virginia for an update on our progress. We found we were no further progressed and decided that we should go to hospital the next day for an induction as Dotty was then 2 weeks late and the waters had broken on Thursday morning, so we were scared for the risk of infection.

I was very nervous when we arrived at the hospital, 10am Sunday morning, it was a very different outcome to the planned relaxed homebirth. The midwives at the hospital were very chirpy and helpful on the first shift. Virginia and Kay came with us and really kept us cheery and positive. I was given a drug on a drip to speed up the contractions and dilate me. After 5 hours there was still no change, Rupert and I were very scared and worried. There were mentions of caesarean sections and Virginia and Kay fought our corner for a natural birth. I didn’t want to lay on the bed as I knew the contractions had been more painful at home when I laid down. Virginia and Kay both gave me massages to help the pain and Kay gave me homeopathic remedies. It seemed like Dotty would never arrive. I was really frightened and felt so out of control. Finally I’d had enough and the second shift of midwives were forcing me to hurry up and saying my baby was in distress, which I now know she wasn’t. I gave an almighty push and Rupert caught Dotty and held her up………………My goodness how happy we were. The feeling is like nothing else, relief, happiness, wonderment. Dotty was so perfect.

I was so shaky and in shock that I couldn’t really hold her and I didn’t know how. I laid on a bed and had her cuddled on my chest, Virginia helped her feed a little. I had an injection to get rid of the placenta as I wanted it all to be over and for our new family to go home. Kay and Virginia were amazing. Without them we’d have definitely have been forced into a caesarean. We left the hospital after 3 hours. We slowly walked to the car park with our little bundle, hand in hand, exhausted but with beaming grins. How lucky and privileged we felt.

I had not anticipated there would be any difficulties after the birth. The first two days were quite easy. Dotty slept a lot and we had close family to visit. The second night Dotty didn’t go to sleep until 5.30am and I hadn’t really recovered from the 4 days in labour. I was exhausted and hadn’t really fed her very much. I asked Virginia to come over as soon as she could the following morning, she arrived very early for us and I was distraught. The breastfeeding was so painful and Dotty wanted to feed all the time, I was so tired and hormonal. I was desperate to quit feeding her myself and use a bottle, I’m so glad now that I persevered. Virginia visited almost every day to help and encourage us even when she’d hurt her neck and couldn’t drive, she even offered I could come to her house and feed Dotty in her garden! I cried every day for 3 weeks about something, even though Dotty was sleeping 9 hours a night! I think if you fill babies with milk it’s half the battle. The feeding really hurt, but somehow the time passed and every day was a bonus, one more day that Dotty would be getting my antibodies. It was at about 3 weeks that I realised that feeding didn’t really hurt anymore, I’d cracked it. It was then I really started to enjoy being a mummy.

Now life seems a breeze. We take Dotty to work with us every day, it takes a little juggling, but we manage it, generally she lays on a cushion on my lap all day, feeding and sleeping when she wants. I then can sit and do my computer work at the same time. We still go to the pub if we fancy and take her for walks. I feed her in public using a blanket. My life is amazing now, I can still do everything I did before and I have a beautiful baby too, you can see her in our photo, she’s has a massive personality even though she’s so little. We spend hours gazing at her, she managed a smile from 3 weeks. A big thankyou to Virginia and Kay.