Jorge's Birth Story

I found out I was pregnant with our third baby sometime in March 2006. My youngest baby boy, Joseph, was only 5 months old at the time so it came as a bit of a shock to us all.

I had decided very early on that I wanted to have this baby at home, I had heard so many wonderful stories of women who had actually enjoyed their birth experiences in the comfort of their own homes, something which, I am sorry to say, having had two babies already, I was yet to experience.

Alfie and Joseph were both born in hospital. I had never really considered having them anywhere else. Although whilst pregnant with Alfie I visited Crowborough Birthing Centre and had a couple of antenatal visits there, but after speaking to my midwife at the time along with friends and family I must admit I was literally scared off this idea. Alfie’s birth was long, drawn out, exhausting, scary and I had all the pain relief going. After being in inactive labour for 3 days, being sent home from hospital and told to have rest, eat and drink lots, which is all sound advice, but when it’s your first baby you really do wonder what is going on. I had no contact whatsoever with the midwife I’d had numerous antenatal visits with beforehand, I felt totally alone, scared, frustrated and tired. Alfie finally arrived with the aid of an epidural, episiotomy, ventouse and an extremely helpful registrar shouting at me to push harder – nice! How I ever would have coped without that registrar is beyond me!!

Joseph’s birth was ‘better’, in that I wasn’t lying on a metal slab in the middle of a cold, bare room wired up to my eyeballs, but was in the slightly more pleasant home from home room, however the hospital staff still wanted Joseph’s heart rate monitored which meant I was still laid up on a bed. My waters had broken at home and my active labour lasted only 3.5 hours but being laid on a bed, with my legs up in stirrups meant that unfortunately, again, I tore quite badly and this time, no helpful registrar present!

I was pointed in the direction of Kent Midwifery Practice by a friend of mine who is an NCT teacher. I first spoke to Virginia at the end of April beginning of May. During the 9 months of my pregnancy I looked forward to her visits. Visits which were never, ever rushed, in fact were always about an hour long, although I do know that Virginia’s visits with other mum’s or mum’s to be were longer depending on their individual needs. No more were the quick in/out sessions of pregnancies before where one was poked, prodded and sent on one’s way. These visits were intuitive, relaxed, chatty and I was given choices that I never knew a mum to be could make, choices that before were automatically made for me. Throughout these visits Virginia instilled in me the confidence, information, statistics and more importantly the support I needed to actually feel excited about my forthcoming birth.

Finally my due date arrived, the day before I had had a false alarm, but these contractions were certainly stronger and throughout the day started coming every 5 minutes, although were totally bearable. Virginia and I had spoken a few times in the day and by 10 o’clock that evening Alex and I were ready to go to bed. Virginia called to ask if I would be happy for her to head over, picking up Nannette (the student midwife who I had met on Virginia’s booking visit to me and who I had already said I was more than happy to have with us during my labour) on her way. She felt things were definitely happening and wanted to be on hand when I needed her but in the meantime coming to me then meant they could get some rest during the night. Fantastic, it was all sorted and then my contractions more or less died down to nothing…..I felt a complete fraud. Virginia took one look at me when I opened the door to them an hour later and said ‘you’re not in labour, you’re too perky’!

Argh!

We decided to see what was happening and I asked Virginia to give me a sweep to get things moving along. However, on inspection it transpired I was 5cm dilated – I must say I nearly leapt for joy, I was not the fraud I previously thought. Thereafter we all decided to get some rest, leaving Alex downstairs turning the air blue trying to fill up the birthing pool with pieces of hose, duct tape, rubber gloves and a mop. Another lesson learnt; always listen to your midwife when she tells you to have a practice run with the birthing pool before the actual event!

I managed to get some sleep and by 2.30am was ready to get into the pool. Virginia came down an hour later and relieved Alex. There I stayed until 7am in the morning. The contractions continued to come every 5 minutes but were comfortable and I managed to get plenty of rest in between, even falling asleep at times. The children, who were being looked after by my mum woke up at this time and my contractions died down again, my mind was occupied with thinking about them, so I decided to get out of the pool and move around a bit.

I asked Virginia to see how much more I had dilated throughout the night and at this point I was only another 6/7cm, things were happening slowly but surely. I carried on walking around and the contractions did get more intense however I felt sure that physically and mentally my body was not allowing me to move onto the next stage in labour. I was so worried about tearing again. Virginia and I talked about this and she asked me if I wanted her to break my waters. I felt confident that if this was to happen things would definitely get going, as was the case when having Joseph. I was also to be a first for her as she hadn’t done this with any of her mums in 7 years. She really wanted me to be 100% certain that this is what I wanted.

At 8.45am my waters were broken, the contractions were coming thick and fast so I moved back down to the pool. Alex had topped it up with warm water and lavender oil, having made a successful trip to Homebase at 8.30am to get the necessary equipment to fill the pool without swearing in front of the children and burning his hands! I had asked Virginia to get some Entinox before my waters were broken as I wanted to have it on hand but as it happens I couldn’t bear to use it and found it far easier to focus on my contractions without it.

I felt urge to push not long after being in the water and after a few more minutes wanted to get out of the pool as I felt very hot. I was on all fours and pushing when Virginia suggested it might be easier and more effective if I were to move into a squatting position, she and Alex helped me, Alex supporting me under my arms and after a couple more pushes out popped our beautiful, baby boy, all 9lbs 9ozs of him and it was only 9.55am! Alfie, Joseph and my mum all heard Jorge’s first cry and came into the sitting room to welcome him into the world.

Virginia checked the baby and myself over. I had torn only slightly and I decided I did not want stitches. Jorge latched straight onto my breast as we nestled up in bed that day. I could hear the hubbub of family life continuing downstairs and I felt nothing but absolute and true happiness. What an amazing experience! This is what birth is really all about and this is how it should be. Thank you to Virginia.