My Birth Story
When I found out I was pregnant, the first thing I thought was ‘oh no, I have to give birth’, shortly followed, I hasten to add, by excitement!
I always wanted children but I must admit, had always dreaded and been genuinely frightened of giving birth. It wasn’t just about the pain, the whole process seemed so indignant to me. It was therefore very important to me to choose not only the right environment, but also the right people to help me have my baby. Being totally ignorant about the process, I did what most of us do and rang my doctors surgery, to be told I had to speak to a mid wife ‘a week on Tuesday and book an appointment’ at which point I asked who it would be with and they said ‘whoever is on duty that day’. One thing I found was a lot of people were very blasé and almost expected you to know everything already - all very well when you’re on your second child, but not when it’s your first and you clearly need support. Anyway, this scenario was enough for me to want to find another solution without going to a private hospital and paying through the nose for what I perceived as a bit of a ‘celebrity birth’.
At this point in time, I was open to any ideas from an elected caesarean to a natural water birth, both of which I presumed could only happen in a hospital - either way pain relief (and lots of it) was at the forefront of my mind! Whilst trawling the internet, I came across the Kent Midwifery website, saw the pictures and testimonials of Virginia and rang her straight away. I got through to her immediately and the first thing she said to me was ‘congratulations, how exciting for you, how are you?’ she showed genuine interest and made me feel excited about being pregnant again, rather than confused about what to do. I arranged to meet her for a consultation straight away and things just got better from there. It was after about the second session when we got on to talking about the specifics of the birth and I have to admit when Virginia said about giving birth at home, I nearly burst out laughing, in my total naivety, I had no idea you could have a baby at home and that this was the primary reason people employ independent midwives. At this point and for a number of subsequent months, I made the decision that I definitely wanted Virginia at the birth, but I was adamant that I was going to hospital and when I mentioned a home birth to my family and friends (with the exception of a few) no one was particularly supportive - which made me even more resolute that I was not going to give birth at home. However at about 6 months, Virginia and I had built up a strong rappour and I trusted her implicitly and I seriously began to consider it. Despite her strong beliefs, Virginia, at no point pressed her opinion on me, at all times, she provided facts and allowed me to make my own decision, in my own time. Working with Virginia and having a home birth, turned out to be one of the best decisions I have made in my life so far, the reasons for which I have listed below:
- I only ever saw Virginia, so she got to know myself and my husband and our lifestyle.
- She was always on call, I rang her a number of times and she always reassured me and provided me with facts, regardless of the questions/concerns.
- All the appointments were in the comfort and familiarity of our home at the time we wanted them.
- Most importantly, she took time (a lot of it!!) to explain everything so I was extremely well informed about every step of the process. We were the swots at the NCT classes!
I finally went in to labour at 5am on Friday 6th October and gave birth to my beautiful little boy Edward at 00.01 on Saturday with my husband, mum, sister and 5 week old baby nephew present! I had him in the front room in the pool with no pain relief – exactly what I wanted. It is amazing what you hang on to in some situations, in this case I had a piece of paper in my hand nearly the whole time where Virginia had detailed the different stages of labour, including contraction timings and exactly what to expect at each stage. This helped me so much, because I knew what was happening and why. I vaguely remember during the later stages of labour asking Virginia to measure how dilated I was and she said she would, but did I really need to her to – I didn’t, I knew exactly where I was by looking at the diagram and remembering what we had talked about. At all times, she stuck to our birth plan (this is so important as it could easily go out the window at this stage) – I was adamant I did not want intervention. Also very important was that I wanted a water birth and for some reason I got stuck in a comfort zone of being over a fit ball with the tens machine and would not move! Knowing it would be easier for me and that I really wanted a water birth (and the fact that my husband had spent all afternoon blowing it up and getting the temperature right) she coaxed me in to the pool - no mean feat when you’re having back to back contractions and holding on to the machine as though you’re life depended on it! I truly believe if Virginia and I hadn’t spent those months together, I would not have listened to her and she would not have been able to influence me. I could go on and on, but I will conclude this account by saying that I will never ever forget sitting in a pool, in my front room giving birth whilst watching Friday night with Jonathan Ross, taking our tiny little baby to bed with us and waking up to a beautiful sunny morning eating bacon sandwiches with my baby, hubby, Dad and brother – it was an absolutely amazing experience and one I would never have experienced without Virginia. Hers will be the first number I dial when (hopefully) I take the magic test again and this time my first thought will be yippee I have to give birth again. He he!!!
Thanks Virginia
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
