Tabitha Florence

I booked in with Kay when I was 21 weeks pregnant. It had taken us a long while to get pregnant and during that time I’d read up about birth choices and decided that I would “treat” myself to an independent midwife, as this might be my only chance to experience birth. The care I’d received up until that point (or rather, lack of it) on the NHS only served to clarify my mind. I was hoping from day one to have a homebirth, although certain of our relatives were quite worried by this decision. They felt that with a first birth I was perhaps taking rather a risk. With Kay’s help and the amount of research articles she lent us, I felt reassured that we were making the right decision for us.

I was beginning to become impatient to meet my baby after 10 days overdue, not least because it was still the middle of a heatwave. It was Sunday and we’d gone for a long walk around the reservoir near my home. As the rain started to fall I felt absolutely exhausted and had some nagging period like pains. I put it down to overexertion, convinced that I’d need the sweep I’d planned with Kay for the following Wednesday.

At 7.20pm Tom had gone to get us a curry when I experience some definite cramping. 10 minutes later, some more. And then more, ten minutes after that. I’d heard that using curry as an induction tool was an old wives’ tale, but didn’t realise it was so effective that it started to work the minute you’d handed your credit card over! I was almost too excited to eat but figured I’d need the sustenance. I couldn’t concentrate on the television, and failed at sleeping. At about 11.30pm I woke my husband Tom, who went to prepare the sitting room, spreading out the sheets on the floor and inflating the birth pool with me directing grumpily.

At about 1am the pains felt like they were almost coming as soon as one had finished, they were much stronger and really took my breath away. Tom tells me they were more like 5 minutes apart. I still think he wasn’t counting properly! At 2am we rang Kay. I talked to her between contractions and she advised us to hang on for another hour and call her again at 3. By 3am the pains were coming closer together still, and were lasting between 30 seconds and a minute. Kay arrived at 4am and I have never been so pleased to see someone in all my life! I was kneeling on the floor leaning on the sofa. I was quite calm, although I was going up the range of the tens. Poor Kay was greeted by me deciding to be sick. She helped me get into the pool at 4.30am and it was utter bliss, and she also cracked open the entonox. I couldn’t work out how to use it at first so Tom showed me how. Soon it was my new best friend and I wouldn’t let it go!

The contractions continued to come 3 minutes apart and were lasting 45 seconds or so. I continued to labour in the pool with gas and air. However, by 10.30am Kay suspected that I was not progressing as quickly as we’d first thought. Internal examinations in the pool were inconclusive so I got out and Kay realised I was still only 5 cm dilated. I was demoralized. So I took the pethidine on offer and had a sleep. Kay and Tom managed to get some rest too.

At 3.45pm I had a big show in the loo and was sick again. I decided to kneel over the birthing ball. By half past four, I was still only 6-7 cm dilated. This was going to be a marathon! Kay and I discussed more pethidine which I took gladly. I had more sleep. I’m convinced these two pethidine induced rests got me through the rest of the labour.

At half past eight, I really felt I wanted to push, but I was still only 8cm. This was a bit of a low point for me, I was just so fed up with it taking so long and felt wretched, like I didn’t know what to do with myself. Kay gave me a fab massage at about 10.30pm which helped so much and she continued to help administer the homeopathic remedies I wanted to use. At 11pm I got back in the pool.

Entering the second stage finally, I was frightened. My waters went and I didn’t like the feeling of having to let go totally. Kay was so reassuring, she told me I could do it and distracted me with wondering what my baby would look like. This really helped refocus me. I started to push, and at 1.22am on Tuesday the baby’s head was visible. I was kneeling on one leg in the pool, and I was determined to get the baby out.

With Kay’s help I changed position to a squat, which seemed to speed things up. Kay encouraged me to feel the baby’s head with my hand. This was an absolute turning point for me. I couldn’t believe it was finally happening and I was so close to meeting my baby. Suddenly I had so much energy. The baby’s head crowned, Tom got a good look and I managed to push most of her body out almost in one contraction. Kay rushed to catch the baby and told me to push one more time to get the last bit of her legs out. Kay pushed the baby through the water, up through my legs to catch. It was 2.31 am.

I was dazed and confused and all I kept thinking was “Gosh, isn’t the umbilical cord short?”

I held the baby’s shoulders under the water, and then Kay wondered whether I’d like to find out what sex it was. So I lifted the baby up briefly. I’d felt previously we were having a boy so I was stunned, but thrilled, to realise it was a girl. We waited for the cord to stop pulsating and then Kay helped Tom cut it. I held my new, precious baby waiting for the placenta, in a bit of a daze, saying “Never again”.



I had a physiological 3rd stage which took a couple of hours, but I think it gave me the chance to get my head around everything that had happened. Had a shower and some tea, and then I got to cuddle my newborn daughter, as yet unnamed… which was lovely. I had a small second degree tear and some grazes, which Kay felt didn’t need stitching, and she was right, everything healed up well!

The birth experience was amazing. I find it quite overwhelming afterwards to think about it, and it certainly lasted much much longer than I had ever imagined. However, I truly believe that having a midwife with me who I trusted implicitly and my own surroundings meant that I coped more with the pain than I thought I would. Kay’s management of my labour was spot on; she was encouraging and timely with her actions and kept intervention to a minimum which is what I wanted. I am convinced had I gone into hospital my labour would have had much more intervention for the “slow” progress. I always felt supported and looked after, which was my greatest wish.

I found the days post birth rather a rollercoaster and I can’t praise Kay highly enough for her care. I simply don’t know what I would have done without her visits and the knowledge that she was there for us. She helped on so many levels, a calm, reassuring presence in the raging storm that was new parenthood. I know I am privileged to have had this level of attention. If we ever are lucky enough to have another child I would do the same again in a heartbeat.

I am so grateful to Kay for helping us bring our lovely daughter Tabitha Florence into the world in the most gentle way possible. She is a fabulously chilled baby and I’m sure the manner of her birth has had a positive impact on her personality!

Thank you Kay.