Theo Carrie’s Birth Story.

We had been trying for a baby for about a year. I was getting more and more anxious as I felt the tick tock of my 38yr old body clock. Alastair was completely horrified when I suggested he might like to go for a sperm test….!.

Anyway finally in January 2006 we had the magical blue cross on the pregnancy test and sat dumfounded on the end of the bed for a few moments just staring at each other; I have never felt such excitement and terror before in one go. In no time we were gibbering on about how fantastic this was but at the same time how we mustn’t get too excited just in case….! Al said it might be a good idea to keep it to ourselves just for a little while, I agreed I thought that was a very good idea and promptly got on the phone to just about everyone.

We were very fortunate that our pregnancy went  well, all be it there was a lot of stress around us at that time. I did everything in my power to ignore all around and focus on our baby.
Virginia taught us so much about what to expect at each stage of the pregnancy and of course our birth.
We all agreed that if all was still going well at the time a home birth would be our first choice. Al and I  talked a lot about the future and all the changes to come. My excitement grew with each kick and every scan picture was almost worn thin under our gaze.

At 34 weeks the baby who we knew by now was a boy turned into the correct birth position, we couldn’t wait to meet him.
As it turned out he felt the same!..
At one day off thirty six weeks my waters broke. It was a Thursday, Alastair was away so I tried to be calm and phoned Virginia. She reassured me and said pop over so I can check you.
It took no time to get there and to our disappointment there was a sign the waters had gone. Virginia and I discussed the implications of this new turn of events she advised me to call Alastair to inform him; and that we should go to hospital to have a few checks to make sure the baby was safe. I felt awful for Alastair as I knew it would not be easy for him to get back home to us and I was desperate for him not to worry.

All the checks at the hospital seemed positive. The waters had now stopped leaking and there was every hope this would remain the case if I rested. Virginia and I were keen to spend no longer in the hospital than necessary. Virginia was clear and gentle with me when she explained some of the possible outcomes now ahead of us, always reassuring and calm. We agreed that if at all possible we might still have a home birth but that we all needed to be flexible and open to changes in our approach. I had utter faith in Virginia and only cared that she was with me whatever happened. Our actual due date coincided with Virginia’s holiday which we had all joked about on numerous occasions Virginia instructing me in no uncertain terms to “ hang on for at least an extra week” now we were all grateful for each extra hour. I just wanted Alastair.

Alastair and I had spoken again and he would be home as soon as he could, everyone was doing their best to help us. I settled down for the night and surprisingly slept for a while.
 
The following day I went for a scan and again the results were reassuring. I felt calm and was still hoping we could have a home birth I only had to hang on relax and the rest was out of our control. At last Alastair was home so now as far as I was concerned all was well. We spent the next bit of time making frantic preparations for the baby, and can you believe it cancelled our wedding!. We had planned a mad dash to the New Forest to marry and have a romantic day or two before the birth ….ah well!!!

We were in constant contact with Virginia calling her to check any changes or worries we had. On the Sunday Virginia rang and said she was going to pop over. When she came she explained that one of the tests I had had at the hospital showed I had group B strep. She said there was a possibility of this affecting the baby and we could no longer have a home birth. She said she would pop home, asked us to pack a few bits pick her up and we would go together to hospital.

For some inexplicable reason upon hearing this Al felt it was a good time to clean the car inside and out!!  I quick as I could packed our little bag and tried to find Al to say we were ready to go. I could see no sign of him….!!? Of course I hadn’t thought to look outside. When I opened the front door I couldn’t believe what I saw. There he was hoover in hand and a slightly crazed look in his eyes. “What the hell are you doing?” I screeched. “If you think we are bringing our little son home in a dirty car, you can think again” came the reply. Oh my God this is what you get for being with a Virgo. In a crisis they clean. We shared a few heated words of disagreement and in the end as a last resort to get us under way I ripped the hoover plug out of it’s socket screamed at Al like a mad woman and jumped in the car. A red faced muttering Al reluctantly got in beside me and drove us to Virginia’ house.

Finally off we all sped to the hospital.

Wow this was it. Our baby was really coming, we could hardly believe it. Virginia helped us to settle in to the hospital,  we felt so relaxed with her there. We had asked the nurses for as much privacy as possible around necessary checks etc. We moved the bed back in the room to give us some space. I was given antibiotics via a drip to protect our baby from the group B strep during his birth, and was induced into labour.

To speed things along Virginia and I ran up and down the stairs together a few times, then she thought better of it and just shouted words of encouragement to me whilst I trotted up and down; looking more like Mr Blobby on speed….!! Each flight of stairs brought on a new contraction… we were off……!

Soon we went back to our room and things began to hot up. I had had the munchies earlier and we had all scoffed bits and pieces in the room. This was later to haunt Virginia. The contractions were going down my legs a feeling of intense discomfort. Gradually they stopped and were replaced by proper contractions in my tummy. Then it started…..! I saw Virginia’s eyes widen as she scrunched up her nose saying “ Oh no Lou! I don’t do sick.” It continued from that moment on for almost the whole of the labour. I must have been the most sickly mum to be Virginia had ever looked after.

As the night wore on, the hours ticked by. The contractions grew, each becoming longer and stronger than the last. I was becoming tired. Al, Virginia and GAS and AIR were my life lines. When I felt alone and lost in the pain all I had to do was open my eyes and Virginia was there with gentle knowing words of comfort. I knew she was there for Al too.
 
I moved around a lot during labour. Sometimes crouched on the floor, or lying on my side and sometimes leaning over the bed. For the entire time Virginia and Al held the foetal heart monitor on my tummy as it was the only way it would give a clear reading. In itself that must have been exhausting.

In the morning the nursing staff checked to see how far dilated I was. When I heard three centimetres my resolve gave way and I said to Virginia “Anything, give me anything to take away the pain, just not a caesarean.” I was given some pethadine so I slept briefly. To me it felt like a long blissful sleep. Shortly after waking I had the feeling I wanted to push, but I was told repeatedly “just pant, don’t push.”

At this stage for a short while Al and I were left on our own in the room. This was a very special moment, calm and quiet; the last time ever again we would be just us. Again I felt the urge to push. This time it was impossible to resist. “Al get Virginia” I said “I want to push” “Oh darling don’t push just pant, like you’ve been told” came the reply. “No really get Virginia Al.” “Sweetheart just pant” said Al. “If you don’t    # # # #  # # #   # # # #   get Virginia, I will   # # # # #   # # # ##  # # # ###   yoouuuu!”
With that Al shot out of the room and in no time at all was back with everyone in tow.

We had agreed before the birth that if at all possible Alastair would “catch” our baby and cut the cord.

 He helped me up off the bed and I stood crouching over a bit to push. My mind was buzzing with thoughts, but at the same time I was totally focused on what I needed to do. Our baby is nearly hear, nearly here, Oh my god this is it. One final push and he  was born into Al’s hands Healthy, alive, and real. I sat down and Al laid our son into my arms, in a moment he was suckling for the first time, so fragile and so perfect.

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Theo is six months old now.

We did get married two weeks after he was born. He came with us, and of course stole the show.

Every day I think how lucky we are to have him.
Life is more hectic now, and Al and I are often both tired, but one smile from our little monster and all the sleepless nights are forgotten.

Al and I both feel it was really wonderful to have Virginia with us through the most important event in our lives. Right from the beginning she answered all our questions, and some we didn’t even know we had. She brought warmth, confidence, comfort and excitement with her, every step. If we had been on our own at the hospital Alastair and I feel certain we would not have been able to have as little intervention as we did have. We were so lucky. Alastair was there the whole time. He was the first to hold Theo. He cut the cord, and Theo went straight to suckle .What more could we have possibly wanted.
Dreams do come true.X