My 'birth story' by Zoe

On my first visit to my GP after finding out I was pregnant, I asked him what the care options were for my pregnancy. We were talking through the various options when he mentioned independent midwives. A friend of mine had had an independent midwife, so I was aware they existed, but had no idea how to go about finding one. He suggested that I try the Kent Midwifery practice, and that was how I came to find Virginia.

Throughout my pregnancy Virginia was a constant source of information and comfort. I’m sure all her clients would agree with me that she came to be more than just like a midwife, she became a friend as well.

I finished work a week before my due date as I wanted to maximise the amount of time had off after my baby was born. My husband Iain was in Paris at a conference for 3 days, and my step-children Eliott & Emily were due to arrive the day after I finished work. They arrived on the Wednesday, and that night my baby was moving around more than ever before. I remember thinking that it was a shame that Iain was away because he loved to feel the baby move.

The following morning Iain came home, and that afternoon Virginia came round to see how I was doing. All was fine, so after she left Iain and I took the kids to the park. I was sitting on a tree watching Iain play rugby with the kids, and I thought that the Braxton hicks I was having were quite strong. I just thought that maybe the baby hadn’t like being pushed around earlier when Virginia had checked its position.

We went home around 5.30 as we were planning on going out for dinner that evening with my mum. When we were back at home I mentioned to Iain about the pains, and said that I thought they may the beginnings of some contractions. We had a chat about it and decided that we may as well still go out for dinner as we all needed to eat, and that we wouldn’t mention anything to the kids or to my mum just in case it wasn’t anything.




We got to the Chinese restaurant about 7pm, and not long after arriving I was pretty sure that I was having contractions. I excused myself and went upstairs to phone Virginia. I explained what was happening and said that I was sure I’d be fine. She said to finish dinner, then when we got home to try to get some sleep and that she would probably see me in the morning, but to call if there were any major changes.

By the time it got to about 8.30pm, my contractions were about 6 minutes apart and I was squeezing Iain’s hand under the table in the restaurant to get through them. It was at that point that I said to him that I really felt we should go. He realised that I was struggling a little, so we quickly made excuses to the kids and off we all went.

Once at home Iain put the kids to bed while I told mum what was happening. She was excited and worried all at the same time, after all this was here first grandchild. Iain told the kids that I was having contractions and that if they woke up and grandma was there, it was because we had gone to the hospital to have the baby. We hadn’t told them that we were planning on having the baby at home. They went to bed just fine, and I got my tens machine on, preparing for what I thought was going to be a very long night.

About 9.30pm we sent my mum home as we thought that we would need her in the morning if Iain was tired from being up all night with me. We fully expected that I would be in labour for many hours to come. I slept a little for the next hour or so on the sofa, then my contractions suddenly became a lot closer together, and I felt like I wanted to go to the toilet. Iain took me into the toilet and I said that I felt like I wanted to push!! This set off alarms bells in his head, but I blissfully unaware of this at the time. He was trying to convince me to lie back down on the sofa when my waters broke. It was then that he called Virginia and calmly explained everything that had happened in the last few hours, finishing with the words “and now she wants to push”. Iain is a very calm person, and Virginia said that she couldn’t believe that he had gone through the whole conversation before telling her the most important thing.

No sooner had Iain said about the pushing that Virginia was grabbing her bag and was running out the door to come to us. She told Iain that he must try to get me to lie down, and whatever happened don’t let me push. By this point the tens machine was my best friend, and I think I would have killed anyone who tried to take it away from me. I was also saying really silly things to Iain, like “let me just push once, it’ll be ok”! It’s amazing how your common sense disappears when you’re in labour. There were all sorts of problems on the motorway that night, and Virginia had a nightmare getting to us. Iain spoke to her when she was on her way, and had the front door open and everything ready and waiting for her.

Virginia arrived at just before midnight, and our beautiful baby daughter was born at 12.20am. Despite all the rushing around, everything was just about ready for her arrival, and she was born in the living room of our house. She weighed in at 7lb 14oz and we called her Grace Elizabeth. From the instant we saw Grace, we both fell instantly in love. We called my mum straight away, and 15 minutes later she arrived. We then called my Dad and sister, but decided that the rest of the phone calls could wait until the next morning.

About an hour after Grace was born, we all went upstairs so that Grace and I could have a bath. We were all in the bathroom (myself, Grace, Iain, Virginia and my mum) when Emily walked in because she wanted to go to the toilet. She looked around with a very confused look on her face, then asked why we were all in the bathroom in the middle of the night. At that point my mum said to her to look at what daddy was holding, and she suddenly saw Grace and said “it’s a baby”. I’m sure Emily will never forget how she first met her baby sister.

Once Grace and I were bathed, and Emily was settled backing bed, we said goodbye to my mum and Virginia and settle down in bed with our new daughter. Iain and I just laid there staring at her. We couldn’t believe that we had created such a perfect little girl.

I have to say that my labour and birth were the most amazing things I have ever experienced. Both Iain and Virginia gave me the confidence to believe that I could do it the way I wanted, at home, with as little pain relief and intervention as possible. I never imagined that my labour would be so short, or so straightforward, and I count myself very lucky. I now have the most beautiful daughter in the world, and I would do it all again in a heartbeat.

I would thoroughly recommend having an independent midwife and a home birth, and if I have more babies I couldn’t imagine going through it without Virginia.