I am writing with regard to my two birth stories, which I am sure you would be interested in hearing about. One in May 2000 which was at Maidstone Hospital and the other in April 2002, a home birth under the attendance of independent midwives, Virginia Howes, and her colleague Kay Hardie.

At the age of 28, both my husband and I were excited at the pending arrival of our first baby in May 2000. We had attended both NCT classes and NHS antenatal classes. The due date came and went, and 10 days later having attended for a scan at the hospital, they were already putting me under pressure to be induced 13 days over my due date, even though there was nothing wrong from the scan details. Luckily, my hind waters went the night before what was to be my induction date (or discussion about it!). Being 12 days overdue, not knowing what to expect and as this was our first baby we were ready for the birth.

At 1 o’clock in the morning I woke my husband, who was now sleeping on the floor, as the bed was too small for the two of us, and told him I thought my hind waters had gone. We were impatient. We rang the hospital to let them know. They said come in, ‘just to be checked out’ (even though the water was clear). So off we went. Everything, so far was textbook – I had slight cramps and that was it.

On arrival at the hospital the midwife geared me up to a machine which would tell her if I was contracting or not (I was – but they were weak contractions). She then said she was going to check me to see how far dilated I was. During this procedure she said ‘I’m just giving you a membrane sweep now which will get things going’. Never once did she ask either my husband or myself if this could be done. Minutes after this procedure, I was in agony, bent double over the desk of the reception, finding it difficult to deal with the contractions. However, I was determined to go home, as I knew from what I had learnt from the NCT classes that it was often a shorter labour and better outcome, the longer you stayed at home.

The contractions were agony by the time I got home. They had written in my notes ‘big baby’ – this scared me – would I get it out? (How did they know it was such a big baby was the midwife telepathic?).

It was too late to put on the tens machine – it did nothing. I was sick in the bath, scared and frightened. We went back to hospital and I was sick in the hospital car park. By this point I was finding it difficult to cope. They again checked to see how far dilated I was. The contractions got worse and I walked myself down to the labour ward.

On admission (six o’clock in the morning) I was very distressed and started with entonox, hoping it would help cope with the pain. Whilst the midwife was out of the room my waters broke and were ‘heavily meconium stained.’ I couldn’t cope and asked for an epidural. One was given and all my hopes of being active during labour had gone. Further examinations showed that the baby was in an OP position. The midwife was concerned about the meconium as she said it could be a sign of distress (never once was it mentioned that it could simply be because the baby was so overdue and ready to come out). We consented to have blood taken from the baby’s head on three occasions which involved me having my legs up in stirrups, being examined internally again by a doctor and the baby having a needle poked in its head. On all three occasions the results came back and the baby was fine. I now know that vaginal inspections can cause infections and further complications. Why perform so many unnecessary inspections?

A monitor was put on. Because of the position of the baby it was difficult to get an accurate reading – this was more trouble than it was worth and uncomfortable – my husband had to hold it in place. I now know that the use of monitors in hospitals have not reduced the number of stillbirths since their implementation. Why use them when it is clear they simply lead to more interference when it is not necessary or useful? Do midwives simply perform these interferences to feel like they are doing something and it makes them feel useful? Have they forgotten what a natural birth is because they don’t see them anymore?

By 3.00 pm I was fully dilated and the baby had made a half turn to the ROT position (nobody told me this at the time. It is only from my photocopied notes that I know this and as far as I was aware the baby was still OP). At 4.00 pm I was told to start pushing (I could not feel to push due to the epidural). I got to the stage where I could feel the baby’s head; I could even feel the hair on her head. I thought my baby is going to be born soon. However, by 4.45 pm it was decided that I would require an emergency caesarean if forceps didn’t work. I was devastated. I now know that things may have been very different had I not been asked to push so soon – we could have waited longer – who knows I may have felt the urge to push. Events were all too rushed – indeed the midwife kept saying ‘this baby will be born on my shift’. This was my baby and not hers!

My husband literally had to fight to be ‘allowed’ into the operating room by which time they had already tried forceps and I was now cut open. We can both remember the staff in the operating room discussing their weekend frivolities. There was little compassion from any of the staff about the major surgery I was about to have performed on me.

Emily was born at 5.35 pm by caesarean (active labour began at 6.00 am so with hindsight this was a relatively short labour for a first time baby!) She weighed 8lbs 5oz (an average, healthy size not what I’d classify a big baby). Her apgar score after 1 and 3 minutes was both 10 (was this a distressed baby?).

I wasn’t ‘allowed’ to hold Emily for two hours. I was told I had to be monitored and stitched up. My husband went with the baby and I was left alone without them for two hours. I now know the importance of skin-to-skin contact with your baby in the first moments. There is no reason why any of us should have been separated and this cruel act should never have taken place.

I did breastfeed – but it was very hard due to the pain from the caesarean and I needed lots of support, which I got from my family – had they not been there I would have given up. Most hospital staff when I called for support and advice took half an hour to get there, and many were simply not qualified in this area. You can imagine the difficulty I had breast-feeding after the major surgery I had had.

I was glad Emily was here, and she was safe and well but I was devastated and shocked by the whole labour. It took me months to recover both mentally and physically. I still think about the whole procedure with a deep sense of sadness, especially now that I have Alice who was born this year in April at home.

We were expecting our second baby in April 2002. I didn’t want to go back into hospital. I wanted to experience a natural birth with as little intervention as possible. After my first visit to my doctor he was already talking about scars rupturing, trial labours, elective caesareans…. As if I was going to elect for another caesarean! I wonder how many scars have actually ruptured following a previous caesarean section whilst a woman is in labour. I know a retired midwife of 30 years and indeed asked her this question when she expressed concern at me giving birth to my baby at home. She had never known a scar to rupture. Indeed articles I have read state that it is extremely rare. A friend of mine was also expecting. She had had a previous emergency caesarean at Maidstone hospital and had been told she had a 70% chance of having another caesarean (she didn’t - her labour happened very quickly and it was fortunately too late – the baby was born naturally in hospital).

I knew I had to avoid hospital to avoid intervention to avoid a caesarean. I am a member of the NCT and saw Virginia Howes’ advert for an independent midwife in the NCT magazine. She came round for a consultation. She was so positive, read my notes and said there was no reason that I should not be able to deliver the baby naturally and at home. In fact I had an 80% chance of doing this. Throughout my visits with Virginia she was always positive – we did talk about what to expect if I needed to go to hospital – I was prepared if need be to go to hospital but this way I knew I would have done my best and that each decision would be my own based upon the best advice, knowledge and expertise. I wasn’t paying for a natural birth, I was paying for this expert midwife to help me give birth to my baby without medical intervention, to give me the confidence to do this and to have the one midwife throughout my labour rather than the five different midwives I had in an 11 hour period at Maidstone hospital.

Throughout my antenatal visits, Virginia spent time discussing anything that worried me, what to expect, particularly during the second stage, which I had not yet experienced. I was given books, leaflets and videos to watch informing me all about natural birth and medically intervened births (of which I felt I had a great deal of knowledge already!). I was impressed by her knowledge and confidence and I never once doubted her expertise.

Alice was born at 4.59 am on 21st April. Total labour was 7 hours and 30 minutes. There were no complications, everything was normal. I used a tens machine during the early stages of labour and had gas and air during the last hour whilst pushing. I had no drugs injected into no stitches and me. At my own request I wasn’t inspected vaginally during the first stage of labour to see how far dilated I was as what is the point in knowing whether you’re 2 cm dilated or 8 cm dilated? Even if you’re only 2 cm dilated there is no knowing how long it will take for you to dilate to 10 cm – it may be 10 hours or 10 minutes and during labour you’re more likely to think on the pessimistic side and ask for an epidural which will further complicate matters. The only vaginal inspections were when there was a lip of the cervix, which was removed by the midwife out of the water, and approximately an hour later Alice was born.

Alice was 10 days overdue and perfect. She was born in a waterpool I had hired from the Active Birth Centre in my dining room at home. My husband picked her up out of the water and handed her to me. It was the most wonderful moment of our lives. She weighed 8lbs 9oz (even bigger than Emily!). I breastfed her almost immediately, following delivery of the placenta. We then had a warm bath together and all three of us went to bed.

I always felt in control and I feel that I owe this to my midwife who instilled this confidence in me and who also had confidence in herself and that of natural childbirth – something which I feel so many NHS midwives lack these days due to what I believe to be the unnecessary high caesarean rate in this country and the level of medical intervention which takes place during childbirth in hospitals.

I can honestly say childbirth isn’t easy but if you have a good midwife you can do it naturally and the rewards are so much greater!