Birth of Thomas & Oliver
7 February 2005
Our first son Joshua was born in January 2002. Despite a healthy, fit and trouble free pregnancy, his birth in hospital left me feeling really traumatised. I was in labour for 26 hours, flat on my back for virtually all of that time in a hospital bed. I took the hospital staff’s advice and did not eat anything during this time, and this left me completely exhausted and unable to cope with the birth itself. The epidural catheter broke in the middle of the second stage and I was suddenly left with full-blown labour pains. All my NHS midwife could say to me was “That’s what childbirth is all about!” and this is when I gave up and screamed for help. My husband Edward tried his utmost to encourage me, but I was so exhausted, I just wanted to die. As a result, Joshua was delivered by ventouse after I was given an episiotomy which, as Virginia subsequently told me, was probably unnecessary as I was so far advanced.
For months afterwards, I was unable to face the prospect of another birth. We had always wanted four children, but at times, I told Edward that we were maybe better off with just one child. Time marched on and many of my friends embarked on their second pregnancies. I started to wonder whether there is another way to childbirth, one that does not leave you feeling so out of control and at the mercy of the medical staff. That is when I considered independent midwifery.
In July 2005, we had the shock of our lives when we were told we were expecting twins. My dad is a twin, so I always knew I might hit the jackpot. I was ecstatic and Edward’s face turned white as a sheet when we were told. We were both overjoyed at the prospect of having two little ones at ones (how efficient!). The only cloud for me was the birth. I immediately got in touch with Mary Cronk who passed my details onto Virginia (and Kay).
At our first meeting with Virginia and Mary, I had the opportunity to explain what had scared me about my last labour. I had this strong sense of wanting the replace the bad experience I had had with a really positive one. I desperately wanted this birth to be as natural as possible. A lot of people told me that I would need to have a c-section with twins and said I had lost the plot for wanting a home birth with independent midwives. Admittedly, it took me a while to get used to the idea of a home birth. Most of us are brought up to believe that doctors always have your best interests at heart and that childbirth in this day and age belongs in the hands of the medical profession. Virginia and Kay opened my eyes to the fact that there was nothing reckless about wanting a homebirth with twins. When I told my GP that I was expecting twins, he booked me in as a “high risk case” with the hospital consultant. I resented this (why was I being labelled like this?) – and cancelled my appointment with the consultant. I also opted out of all the routine growth scans for fear that these would impair the growth of my babies and ended up having just three scans during the whole pregnancy.
I really wanted to use a birthing pool for this birth, so I booked one and had our home all set up for the birth and was itching to go from 36 weeks. My health during the pregnancy had been excellent with no high blood pressure or any of the other health niggles that so many people had assured me were typical with a twin pregnancy (I now firmly believe there is no such thing as a typical pregnancy!).
On 7 February 2005 at about [0700 hrs] I woke up with this strong urge to give my hospital bag a final check to make sure I had everything, should I need to be transferred. As I squatted on the floor and was going through my bag, I suddenly felt a leakage from below. My waters never broke with first pregnancy, so I was not sure if this was really “it”. I called Virginia for advice and she said that this was probably the first sign of labour starting, but advised me to just take it easy and wait for things to happen. Strangely, from this point onwards I was no longer worried about having a homebirth and not going into hospital like other mums would do at this point. I felt so excited at the prospect of awaiting the arrival of my babies in the comfort of my own home (when else in your life do you get the chance to splash around in a pool in your lounge?). I had a hearty breakfast, determined not to get caught out again with an empty stomach and no energy.
During the course of the morning, my contractions started to set in and got more regular and stronger. Virginia, Kay and Mary arrived at around [1100 hrs] to find me in established labour. I felt really reassured how matter of fact my midwives were about the whole thing. I was just left to get on with it and was not unnecessarily examined or prodded. Every now and then, Virginia or Kay would check the heartbeats of the babies with a sonicaid. This made the whole experience seem even more natural (no doubt in hospital I would by now have had to endure at least one internal examination not to mention being continually monitored). I could listen to some music, eat and drink what I liked and be close to Edward and our son Joshua, which meant a lot to me.
In the afternoon, Virginia suggested that I could try getting into the pool as the contractions were now getting very strong. Sinking into the warm water was blissful and really relaxed me. A little later, I asked for some entonox to help me cope with the pain. The buoyancy the water was brilliant for adopting new positions. In between contractions, I felt most comfortable floating on my back, but when the contractions came, I would quickly flip over onto my front as this felt most natural. This most definitely would not have been possible on dry land as during the pregnancy my weight had increased from 60 to 90 kg and I felt like a beached whale!
Towards the end of the afternoon, I gradually felt this strong urge to push and started to feel less and less comfortable in the pool. Virginia suggested that I get out, so that we could get on with some serious pushing. I must admit I did not like this part very much. I found it difficult to get into a comfortable position. Virginia tried her hardest to support me and at times literally took all my weight on her shoulders (poor thing!). I pushed and pushed, but whenever it looked like the head of the first baby was coming down, something inside me held me back and the head slipped back. I was now becoming more and more exhausted with tiredness, so Mary suggested I adopted the [McRoberts] position which involves, ironically, lying flat on your back with your knees pulled right back towards your shoulders. I continued pushing in this position, with lots of encouragement from everyone and for a while, it seemed like this was working. Mary, in particular, helped me to really focus on every contraction and I felt encouraged that this could really work. But eventually, I seemed to lose progress again and Virginia suggested we come up with a plan of action as to how long we would give it before we transferred to hospital. At first, I was terrified at this suggestion, but soon realised that a transfer whilst I was in good spirits and there were no complications would make more sense that continuing at home with me getting more and more tired.
By about [1800] pm, we decided to call it a day and called an ambulance for the transfer to hospital. This sounds like a dramatic U-turn for a planned homebirth, but nothing could be further from the truth. There were no complications or any sense of panic. The babies were absolutely fine, too. I was merely not progressing any more and Virginia suggested I could do with a little boost from a drip to make the contractions stronger, so that I could push more effectively. We very calmly picked up my things and all transferred to hospital.
When we arrived, I was introduced to Carolyn, the midwife on duty, and the registrar. I must say I was very lucky – not only had I brought the best midwives with me, but I was also fortunate enough to have some brilliant NHS staff on duty. The registrar asked me how he could help and I said I would just like him to put me on a slow drip to increase the power of my contractions (which, at this point, were non-existent due to the adrenaline that had kicked in as I transferred into the “beloved” hospital environment). The drip was set up and we waited for labour to resume. Soon, I was ready to push again, but, as before, something was holding me back. I think it was fear linked to the last birth. The registrar encouraged me to push, but at the same time offered to do a ventouse, should I need it. Strangely, this did not scare me like it did last time with Joshua. I felt I had tried as much as I could. More importantly though, the registrar said he would not give me another episiotomy as he felt it was not necessary.
In the end, the first baby, Thomas, was born with a gently pull from the ventouse at 0004 hrs on 7 February 2005 weighing 7 lb 4 oz. My midwives helped me to put him straight on the breast to help restart contractions for the second twin. Edward and I had chance to greet our first beautiful twin. I felt overjoyed to have one out, but then it suddenly hit me that only half the job was done. The registrar wanted to break the second twin’s waters, but having asked Virginia for her opinion on this, I asked him not to as I wanted to give the second baby time to come down by itself. The registrar respected this and just waited for the second twin’s heart rate to return to normal before leaving the room, so that I was alone with just midwives for the second birth. The pain was still very intense and at times, I just wanted gas and air. Virginia continued to encourage me and helped me focus my mind on the job in hand. At 0036 hrs, I managed to push out Oliver (weighing 5 lb 4 oz) without any help. The relief that it was all over was immense. I still vividly remember asking Kay, who was standing beside me and smiling at me, if it was all over.
I am so glad that I opted for independent midwifery and feel that this birth was a full success, despite ending up in hospital. The difference was the support Virginia, Kay and Mary gave me throughout the pregnancy and the birth. My husband Edward supported me too, of course, but he, just like me, also felt overwhelmed by the loss of control from the birth of our first son. Virginia’s and Kay’s expertise and support continued after we returned home from hospital. Virginia helped us overcome Oliver’s initial reluctance to breastfeed properly, and I can now happily say that at 13 weeks, both Thomas and Oliver are still fully breastfed and weigh 13 lb 4 oz and 10 lb 1 oz respectively. They are little angels in that they already go some nights with just one feed at around 0100 hrs and then sleep through to 0700 hrs. They are very contented little babies and give us and their brother Joshua a lot of joy. But most importantly, my early months with them have not been overshadowed by a bad birth experience.
With thanks and lots of love to Virginia, Kay and Mary
Lots of love
Sandra, Edward, Joshua, Thomas & Oliver xxx
